Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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