You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
