are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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