She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
The power of my boobs compel you
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Randomize
