No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
