I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm getting married
To pizza
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
