We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
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