No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
