Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
