Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
