Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
