when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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