The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
COCAINE IS GR8
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
