I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
