if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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