According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
