I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
