you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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