I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
