I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
