I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
My butt remains clenched, sir.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
