never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
