But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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