areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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