WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
