Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
