this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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