HIV tests are more positive than that guy
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
