Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
