lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I haven't been this sober since birth.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
