I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
