I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize