Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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