I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize