And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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