Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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