So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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