Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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