Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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