my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize