come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
