i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Semen is not good for contacts.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize