How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
