she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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