That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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