He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
