I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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