Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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