I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
