can u get pink eye on your cock?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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