Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
