I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
A+ Viking dick
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
There are leaves in my underwear?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
