Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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