I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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