you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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