I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Randomize
