never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
