Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
