awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
