My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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