we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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