If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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