I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
