We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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